2017 is here and with it comes a fresh perspective and a new desire to live my authentic self. However, as we welcomed in 2017 and the fresh new year many of us would be thinking….
I should set some goals for 2017….
I should set a New Years resolution…
I should stick to my New Years resolution….
Should is a word that has caught my attention over the last 6-12 months. I have become increasingly aware of how I use it in my language, when others use it and how my behaviour expresses it.
Should is hard wired into our way of being. Since we were little tackers we learnt how we ‘should’ behave and what is expected of us to function like a good little boy or girl. We learnt to either fit into the mould of what is expected of us, or we ran in the other direction and tried to break through of all the should’s as we grew up. And often we learnt that if we didn’t do what we should, we would feel guilty or shameful of our behaviour (consciously and mostly unconsciously).
With all this is mind, ‘should’ can rule our world until we get conscious of it!
Should is associated with feelings and emotions of guilt, shame and expectation of what we are supposed to, need to and have to do. It takes away an element of freedom of choice when we link our statements, questions or behaviours to the word should.
Try to now…. Take a deep breath…. and say out loud the word SHOULD…. connect with the energy of it. Repeat it several times. Add the word I…. I should…… Notice the sensations, feelings and thoughts that come up when you spend time connecting with that word and all its associations.
So this New Year I am committing to letting go of should. Due to my hard wiring it will take time, practice and patience. It will take presence with myself and with others. It will require new language. It will require understanding and kindness towards myself and others. It will take a level of self commitment and to be not ok with pleasing everyone. I may have to let others down, but maybe that will allow me to create a pattern of finally supporting myself more. Putting my needs and wants first. Wouldn’t a more fulfilled, happier and authentic version of ourselves be a greater gift to those around us?
Now reflect back on what you have set for yourself for 2017 and what you really want from the year ahead.
Take the time and untangle yourself from all your ‘shoulds’. Connect with yourself and empower yourself to be and do what will make you a happier, more fulfilled person. I and the team at HYL wish you a wonderful start to the New year filled with new possibilities, desires and choices that empower you to create the life you were born to live!
Here’s a quick exercise for you to give you a little more insight into your own should.
On a blank piece of paper write the headings:
- I should
- I need to
- I have to
- I want to
- I choose to
- I can
Give yourself a time limit of 1 minute for each title and madly write down the first things that come to mind. This can help you highlight expectations you may be putting yourself (or others are putting on you) and it may also remind you of what you really want, what your needs are and what choices you desire to make.
Happy 2017! May it be the beginning of new ways that bring out your authentic self!
Image via @earthspirit
Love and Light.